Of Love and Loss

OF LOVE AND LOSS
Part of the Epic of Terridol the Immortal


Love, probably one of the most powerful emotions we shall ever face. It can cause wars as well as end them. It can bring the strongest man to his knees and make the meekest rise up against impossible odds. Love is a powerful thing.

I once knew of love and the pain it can bring…


I. A CHANCE MEETING

Fifty years it has been since I set flame to the home of my former friend and mentor. Fifty years spent wandering the wilderness in search of my path. Not such a long time to some of the other races, but alone, a year can seem like a decade or more. Thoughts swirled in my mind. What was to become of me? I had no idea. Was I still alive? Did I still exist or had I become part of the wild itself? This I did not know.

It hadn't been long before I found a place to call my own, a small grove a trees in the northern realms. I spent my days gathering what food and provisions I could find. Most of the time I sat in my makeshift home thinking back wondering if I would again be rescued from the torment of the quiet loneliness. Yet day after day the relief of companionship was never found, and I began to slowly accept my fate in life; to be alone.

It was about this time that while I was hunting my evening dinner, I happened to hear what seemed to be a cry for help. Without a thought I began to rush to the source of the sound, not knowing what I would find. Over the years I had fought off beasts of all sorts purely for survival and for food. But this was something more, something else totally different. Was I ready to face this, and why was I running blindly into danger? I am not bound to help anyone, but my conscience won over my thoughts and I soon found myself in a meadow facing a group of orcs and a small human maiden huddled near the ground quivering in fear for her life. I knew they meant to have their way with her then kill her. I could not let this happen.

Without a thought I stringed an arrow into my bow, releasing it upon the orc closest to the maiden, and he fell dead beside the others. They began to charge me. I then strung another arrow and let it fly to the orc nearest to me he to fell dead. There wasn't enough time though another shot, for as soon as I had my third arrow ready they where upon me. As soon as I let it loose upon the band, it hit one of the orcs in the shoulder. In what seemed like one continuous move I dropped my bow to the ground and pull out my knives and had them at the ready.

Three remained and I was surrounded, one in front and two on each side of me. I lunged toward the one in front, and my knife found the neck of the helpless orc, as it ripped the flesh from across his throat, he dropped his weapon and brought his hangs to cover the mortal wound; trying to somehow stop the flow of blood gushing from it, yet to no avail because after a few moments he collapsed upon the ground and was no more.

Then the others came, the first attacked from the right. I parried the blow with my knives. Though I left myself open to attack from the other. He came from the left but, I was too late to block the attack and his blade cut deep into my arm. As soon as I felt the pain my arm went limp and my knife fell to the ground. He came again, this time I was ready.

As he came close, I jumped into the air and my boots found each of the orc's faces. They fell back stunned. Wasting no time I charged at one of them. It was attacking with its mighty cleaver, raising it up above its head. I ducked low under his attack and shoved my blade in between the metal plates of his armor and it plunged deep into his heart. The other was coming up behind me fast. No time to get over to him. I pulled my blade back from the torso of the dying orc, turned hard on my heels, and as soon as I had the orc in my sight I hurled my knife through the air. It found its mark in the forehead of the monster. As it knife impacted, It stopped dead in its tracks. Dropping its weapon it looked upon me in bewilderment as if it didn't understand what had happened to it. Then its eyes rolled back into its head and it fell backwards to the ground.

I recovered my weapons and headed over to the terrified maiden. I wanted to tell her that it would be alright, that she was safe now; that no one was going to hurt her. But I couldn't, I felt a numbness falling over me. I looked down at my wound that the orc had so generously bestowed upon my arm. Blood was trickling down my arm, too much blood; my blood.

The last thing I remember was darkness, and the muffled cries of a young woman, so far away. Then there was nothing.

II. THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

I awoke to find myself lying in an unfamiliar bed. The light from the windows shined threw like a ray of healing energy that streamed though the sky. As soon as I felt the warmth of the light upon my skin, my weakened arm felt a little better. As I looked down I saw that my arm was bandaged in a fine cloth, and by the way it was dressed the person seem to take great care in mending my wound. The room I was in had many old dusty books on a shelf that lined the far wall. There was a desk nearby that had the remainder of a candle sitting inside a holder. The wax all over the base of the small nub seemed to be fresh possibly used within the last few nights. It was a small room not much bigger than the bed itself.

As I rose out of the bed, the floor creaked and moaned as I felt a small dull pain in my arm. It would be some time before I would have full use of it again. I found my shirt and tunic washed, mended, and folded neatly lying on a char that was sitting in one of the corners of the room. I quickly dressed myself and began to head out of the room thru the simple wooden door.

As soon as I entered the hallway I was greeted with a sweet fragrance of pastries. I approached the source of the scent; it was coming from a small room adjacent to the main building. As I peaked around the corner I saw the young maiden busily preparing the evening meal. It seemed she was unaware of my presence so I walked in.

"Good morning" I said.
I must have scared her because as soon as I had said it she dropped the rolling pen she was using.
"Oh, it's you" she replied, "How are you feeling? That wound was pretty nasty, had to get all the poison out. Father said you wouldn't survive."
"I've been thru worse" I replied to her, "How are you doing, are you alright?" I asked her, "I'm doing well thanks to you."
When she said that she smiled at me; when she did I felt something within me, something I never felt before. All I could do was smile back. It was strange I hadn't smiled in such a long time.

As we where standing there lost in that moment the front door swung open and a burly man stampeded in and slammed it behind him.

"SHONZAN!!" he yelled, "WHERE ARE YOU GIRL!!"
"I'm in the kitchen father." she replied.

The man walked into the kitchen mumbling some complaints about the northern field and something about crows. He soon noticed me standing there.

"Well looks who's up and about." He said, "You had us worried there for a couple of days", he continued.
"Just how long was I out for?" I asked.
"About a week", Shonzan replied.
"Aye the girl practically drugged you in here. You were a mess." the man said.
"Then you have my thanks Shonzan." I said.
"No it is we who should be thanking you, if you hadn't shown up when you did, my baby girl would have been at the mercy of those vile creatures." the man said.

"You're welcome to stay here as long as you need to." he followed.
"Thank you" I replied.
"The name's Torin and this is my farm, the girls name is Shonzan as you probably already guessed." said the man.
"What is your name?" Shonzan asked,
"My name is Terridol", I replied, and again she smiled at me.

So for the next few weeks I spent my time helping Shonzan with the chores around the house till I gained most of the strength in my arm back. One day Torin came to me and asked if I felt strong enough to help him in the northern field.

"We've been having a bit of trouble with the wolves. I was wondering if you..." he started.
"I would be happy to help." I replied without waiting for him to finish.

The next day I spent on the northern field taking care of the wolf problem. Within a week I had managed to scare off the pack that was attacking. Torin was all too happy and relived that the problem was solved. All Shonzan did was smile and once again it was captivating to me.

I spent the next several months helping out getting to know the two, and as time wore on I thought hat may I would stay here. It was a peaceful place. I also began to think about Shonzan more and more, but it was all to clear that I couldn't stay. My place belonged in the wilderness that was my home. Soon I felt like Shonzan began to realize this.

One day Shonzan came out to the barn where I was bailing hay.
"Father has gone to town to get some supplies. He'll probably be gone till tomorrow." She stated.
"Oh ok." I replied.
"He wanted me to tell you that he wanted the fence fixed in the east felid by the time he got back."
"I'll get to it when I'm done here" I replied.

With that she turned and walked away. Thru the corner of my eye I saw her look back at me. She looked sad as if she knew I was planning on leaving soon. When I turned to talk to her she walked away.

That night after I had finished eating I found Shonzan in the meadow down by the pond.

"It's going to rain" she said as I walked up to her.
"Aye could start anytime now." I replied.

As I said it she turned to me. Her eyes where so deep and full of innocence, yet there was a sadness there that I had seen earlier in the day; I will never forget those eyes.

"Terr, what do you think about me?" she asked.
"I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting." I said.
"Your planning on leaving us aren't you?" she asked
All I could do was look at her when she asked, and as we stood there for a few moments the rain began to fall. It made the sound like distant drums banging rhythmically in unison.
"I go where my road leads me" I replied. "The wild has always been my home." I continued.
"Why, don't you like it here?" she asked
"Why would you want to go, when there are people here who care for you, who love you?" she cried.

As she said it she turned her glance from me and looked away toward the pond. The rain continued to fall pouring like the heaven opened up and was crying with her. I moved my hand to her cheek and her eyes found mine.

"Do you love me Shonzan?" I asked.
She replied with just a whisper, "Yes"
When she said it I moved closer and held her in my arms and kissed her passionately on the lips.

"Then if you ask it, I will stay here, with you." I replied.
We spent the night together under the shelter of the old oak in the meadow by the pond.

III. DECEPTION FROM THE SHADOWS

I spent most of the next day with Shonzan. She seemed to be happier. We spent most of the time by the oak tree where we shared the night before. It wasn't until late that afternoon that I felt something was wrong. Shonzan was the first to say something about it.

"Father sure has been gone a long time" she said.
"I know it should take him this long." I replied.
I could see a deep worry fill her eyes when I said it. I had to do something.

"Don't worry he probably got caught up with something in town, he'll be back before you know it." I assured her.
"I guess your right" she sighed. "Well come on I'll get dinner ready." she said.
"I'll be right there." I replied. "Why has Torin been gone for so long?" I thought to myself, "He has never taken this much time to go to town, something must be wrong, but I cannot let Shonzan know."

We ate dinner in an uncomfortable silence. After we were finished Shonzan started toward her room. She looked back at me with a lonely neediness in her eyes. I got up from the table and followed her into her room.

Later that night, after she had fallen asleep, I put on my clothes and gathered my weapons and gear. "Torin should have been back by now. I'm going to have to find him", I thought to myself. I slipped out of the house and made my way silently like a shadow down the road.

After a few hours of searching I found the tracks of the wagon that Torin was using. It seemed that they where about a day old. The tracks seemed to stop about halfway between town and the farm. It seemed that he was on his way back when he was forced off the road. I then noticed a lot of other tracks, almost undiscoverable to the untrained eye. They seemed to litter the sides of the road. Who ever they belonged to they didn't want to be followed. "He was ambushed", I said to myself.
I soon found a trail into the woods that belonged to the mysterious band. After a couple of hours I came upon an encampment. From the size of it I estimated that there would be about fifty to sixty of them. I moved closer to get a better look at the camp. There didn't seem to be that many guards. Probably believed that they where untraceable and didn't need a lot of sentries.

I spotted a tent that had two guards sitting beside it. One looked like he was fast asleep and the other looked like he was nodding in and out of slumber. This had to be where the where holding Torin. I kneeled down and took out two arrows from my quiver. I placed one on the ground beside me and strung the other in my bow. "If I take out the one that's still awake I can get the other before he orientates himself to the situation", I thought to myself.

I let the arrow fly and it found its mark ring in the chest of the nodding guard. I immediately strung the other arrow and let it loose on the other guard. It struck him in the neck just as he was stirring out of his slumber. They both feel back into their slumped state that they where in before. I quickly moved in and removed the arrows from their bodies. Without a closer inspection anyone would think that they where just sleeping.

I moved silently into the tent and there I found Torin. He was lying on the floor and it seemed that they had cut the tendons in his ankles. He looked straight at me and opened his mouth to say something, but it only came out as a guttural moan because they had also cut out his tongue.

"Lay still my friend; I'm going to get you out of here." I said.

He only replied with more moans. It wasn't until after a few moments that I understood what he was trying to tell me.

SHONZAN!!

Suddenly I understood what he was trying to tell me. It all made sense. The ambush, the lack of guards, it was all to lure me out here away from Shonzan.

"Oh gods no" was the only words I could say.

I started to help the old man out of the tent but he stopped me.

"I can't leave you here Torin" I said

It was a decision I didn't want to make; to leave Torin here to die or to let Shonzan be captured or worse by the bandits. I was torn between the two I couldn't decide and time was slipping by. Yet Torin made my decision for me. He snatched my skinning knife from my boot, and before I could stop him, he shoved it deep into his heart. With his last words, I could make out "Save her", and then he was gone.
It was done, and without hesitation, I recovered my knife and bolted out of the camp and rushed back to the farm.

IV. MOONLIGHT RAGE

I will never forget that night. There was a cool breeze from the north, and the moon shone bright like a face laughing and taunting me as I rushed toward whatever fate had conspired against me that night. To this day I still curse the sight of that cruel smile the moon so pompously bears.

As I neared the farm a deep fear entered my heart, for a strange orange glow seemed to engulf the horizon. As I came over the hill, my heart sunk low. The house was consumed in flames and soon would be noting be a pile of ash and soot. I had to think fast. I began to look for any sign of Shonzan and the bandits. I found the same type of trail heading north. It seemed that they where not heading back to the camp.

"Just as I thought, even the camp was a decoy" I said to myself.

I begun to make my way north but it seemed that they had sever hours on me and every time I stopped to check the trail it seemed they where getting further and further head. They must be on horse back. I had no time to waste. For two months I tracked them; two months I spent in utter misery. Yet at that time I didn't know what true misery was, yet.

I almost stumbled upon their camp; half asleep I encountered one of their hunting parties who almost got the better of me. It was late at night and the guards where posted almost militaristically around the camp. It took some time but I found a hole in their defenses. I snuck up to one of the guards who had turned his back to the parameter, probably to see what the others where doing. His mistake would cost him, for he fell dead before he even heard the arrow whistle into his back.

I crept like a predator stalking his prey. It wasn't long before I found the tent I believed Shonzan to be in. I quickly disposed of the guard and made my way in, and to my relief and horror I found Shonzan lying on the floor.

She was beaten and bruised and she had many cuts and burns upon her body. The only type of clothing she wore was a filthy sack with holes cut to allow her head and arms through. Just enough to keep her somewhat warm. I ran to her and kneeled low taking her into my arms.

"It's going to be ok Shonzan I'm getting you out of here." I said to her.


But her only response was a blank stare into my eyes, and she seemed limp. The fire of passion and life was gone from her now. Her eyes that held so many wonders were now red from crying and despair. There was nothing in her eyes now, just blank and emotionless. She just laid there and looked at me. Did she even remember who I was anymore? Then just as I was slowly beginning to understand, she looked at me and for a moment and I saw a flicker of life return to her eyes. Then she gave me the greatest gift anyone in the world had ever given me. She smiled, and as a tear fell down her cheek, she took her last breath and was gone.

I felt a rage boil deep within me like nothing I have ever felt before. I laid her down back to the floor and made my way out into the camp. I no longer was trying to go unnoticed, no; I wanted them to find me. I saw two men were walking to the tent.

"So you ready for another round?" one said
"Aye, and I'm going first this time." replied the other

They almost bumped into me when they noticed my presence.

"W…Who are you?" the first one said
"Who cares lets kill him" said the other

Before they could draw their swords my knives found the hearts of each of them and the fell to the ground dead.

The noise startled the others and soon I was surrounded by the whole host. They stood ready with their weapons drawn. With the rage building deep inside I stood there staring at them waiting for the first one to attack. Then one of them came out seemed to be the leader by the way the other where talking to him.

"Let me kill him Korsch, I can take 'em"
"Fool you wouldn't get within three feet of him."
"He took down Nearun and Farmar with single blow."

With a wave of his hand Korsch silenced the crowd.

"So, you've come to take the wench back huh, well I can't let you do that." He started,
"You see we've come to enjoy the company that little whelp has brought to us if you know what I mean." He continued.
"Course you could always have a go with her, after me and my men of course" he laughed.

As soon as he said it all the others began to laugh as well, and the burning rage that had been fuming deep inside me exploded into an all out inferno.

I don't know how long I fought, or how many I killed. All I know is when I came to most of the camp had been destroyed and many if not all of the bandits were lying spread out on the ground dying or already dead. The only one I found still alive was Korsch.

He was cowering low behind some debris. When he saw me approach he began to scamper away in a crawl. I threw one of my daggers into his right calf. He fell forward into the blood soaked mud crying out in pain. He then turned to face me.

"Who are you?" he asked

Standing over his pitiful form I gave him a simple reply:

"Your executioner"

Then I shoved my remaining dagger into his eye twisting and turning it to make sure that the deed was done. I left his lifeless corps there to rot. I never retrieved my daggers, they had served their purpose and had found there final resting place on that blood soaked field.

I went back to where I left Shonzan. I picked up her body and covered it in the remains of a nearby tent. I then carried her away from that scene of death and carnage. I took her back to the place where the house once stood. There was nothing now but a black spot on the ground and a few pillars of scorched wood standing like the ruins of an ancient city.

I buried her under the oak by the pond where we shared our first night together.

"May this tree shelter you from all the evils of the world, till the end of days", I recited as I laid her down for her final rest.

As the words left my mouth, it began to rain heavily as if the sky itself was crying. As the rain fell, I just stood there, looking at the makeshift marker I had set. I know not how long I stood there. It wasn't until I remembered something Shonzan told me…

"It's going to rain" I said repeating the same words she spoke to me on that night so long ago. I then broke down and began to weep over her grave. My tears slowly absorbed into the storm.


The next day I gathered what remained of my belongings; my bow, some arrows and a quiver, and a small sword that belonged to Torin. I then set out back into the wilderness. As I left I looked back at the place I was ready to call home. Then I shed one final tear and then I disappeared back into the wild; alone once more.